Voice
On Saturday afternoon the moon was new again; time to take stock of where I’ve been and what might be next.
The last cycle was about Presence. Through it, I tried to focus more on being in moments instead of fearing them or reacting to them without intention. I wasn’t all that great with it, to be honest. The band had a gig a couple weeks ago and I just couldn’t hold the moments – I was thrown off way too easily. Work has also been a stressor. There is continuing and abundant pressure (beyond the mere workload) – however well-intentioned – that is definitely triggering. I had a one-on-one call with my supervisor’s supervisor on Thursday and felt like, while close to the moment, I may have been a little too high strung. In many areas of my life, I feel like I’m playing defense. Sometimes for cause, and sometimes because of the fear that yielding anything will cause a loss of self.
So this cycle’s theme will be Voice. If I don’t use and believe in my own voice then how can I ever expect anyone else to? I have to speak without fear of consequence – so long as what I speak is true in my own heart. This is true in work where I am finishing a document today that could lay the groundwork for everything I do for the next two years. I am beginning a new creative project tomorrow where I will accept myself as a subject matter expert and produce YouTube videos, I will also work to meet my friends and the band with a fuller and more assured voice.
I’ve been biting my tongue in my sleep again – I can’t help but think that the metaphor is actually real. Let’s stop that now.
No song this month – instead, I realized that my vocal isolation booth (closet) had turned into emergency storage, meaning I couldn’t record even if I did have something to say. That’s changed now. The lyric page might be empty, but that just means the possibilities are limitless.
Categories: New Moon
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