Nox Amicus

Another new moon greeted us on Friday morning so it’s time to see where I’ve been and where I’m headed.

The theme for the last cycle was “Elevation”. A lot of things in August were calling me to step up my game both personally and professionally. A major presentation for work could have long term ramifications on my current position, and I’m grateful that I was able to live up to my own expectations on that one. The company is going to do what they’re going to do – but to borrow a baseball analogy, I’d rather go down swinging than watch a pitch fly by. I definitely put the ball in play, so we’ll see how the fielders do.

I realized I needed to think a little bit bigger personally too. I needed to break out of my comfort zone – or really, define a new one, and reach beyond myself more. For the most part, this was successful. Basically, don’t be so quick with being self-protective, allow the option of “yes” as opposed to defending with “no”.

This month though, it’s time to pull back a little bit, so the theme this cycle is “Presence”. There were a lot of big moments in August – all summer, really – but I feel like I spent more time ‘managing’ them rather than fully ‘living’ in them. I notice this with the band a lot – I’m so hyper-vigilant about everything – my playing, the sound system, the state of the audience – that I don’t spend enough time living in the moments that I savor so much. So what does it take to be more present? What does it take to hold the space – not just for people I care for – but for myself as well? How can I be more in concert with everything, rather than just being subject to its whims?

This weekend is a good start for that – just quiet stillness for a couple days before life, work, and the band begin again. It’s been nice to catch my breath and have the opportunity to see some of the places I could have been better in the past month – and to try to strike the balance between staying grounded and moving forward.