Nox Amicus

A little over two weeks ago the moon was new, and this morning she was full – I’m late again, but not really. I’ve been Living my intention, regardless of not having written about it.

Last month’s focus was on Safety, and in it I spoke about how my life is “walking me down roads filled with choice and intention, and through these processes I’m beginning to understand that the more I am able to live my life in a deliberate state of choice, the safer I feel both physically and emotionally.”

This life of choice and intention is a bit of a double-edged sword as I lean into it. The overthinking and anxiety bring the wondering of whether the choices or intentions are the right ones. It’s getting easier though. The trip to Los Angeles last week brought many opportunities to let go of the “have to” and made me mindful of when I overthink, and how I can craft spaces where it isn’t necessary. It was wonderful how alive I found I was able to feel – giving myself permission to experience, rather than to analyze.

Years ago a very trusted spiritual sister used to tell me “more feeling, less thinking” – she knew, and her words still echo in my spirit. So this month’s focus of intent has been Living. The more I think, the further away I drive myself from my soul and spirit. The more I am able to trust and be, the more fully alive I feel and the more abandon I can experience.

Imagine that, focusing on abandon rather than abandonment.

I have known that Living was the focus since the moon was New. I have been Living it. I was at a loss for a song though – it’s become a bit of a bellwether, leading me toward a more full expression of my intent. I had thought I had one, but it didn’t have the right feel. Finally tonight I found what I had been yearning for, and I am surprised this is the first New Moon focus I’m using this song for.

The last time I posted it on Facebook was on August 17, 2016. In that post I wrote “everywhere is a new chance to heal, grow, become, and celebrate all the little things that make us who we are.”

That sounds a lot like Living to me.

“I’m not expecting to grow flowers in the desert, but I can live and breathe and see the sun in wintertime.”

Stay alive.