Nox Amicus

At 5:38am on Wednesday, August 16th the Moon was New again. The fact that this is being posted so close to the time is a testament to the accuracy of this cycle’s focus — but I am getting ahead of myself.

The focus for the last cycle was Assumption. In that post I spoke about “emotional reasoning”, and talked about how I would often assume an emotional significance or emotional weight to something someone might say or do, or a way someone will behave, that they did not intend. I also said that I wanted to allow space for fate to evolve rather than Assuming, and thereby possibly unintentionally manifesting an outcome.

Part of my work this past month involved reading “The Game of Life and How to Play It” by Florence Scovel Shinn. The book focuses on the power of attraction — that through faith and intent, we can draw what we desire into our lives. This dovetails nicely with a tenet of my own path, which states “To know, to dare, to will, to keep silent”. Specifically – know yourself; your motivations and desires, summon the courage to express those desires, will yourself to do the work to create space for the desire to manifest; then leave it alone — be silent. If it is to be, it will be — rest in the knowledge that your intentions were pure and you laid all the groundwork you could.

There’s a lot of trust involved in that. Trusting in oneself, trusting in the universe, and in many cases, having trust in those closest to us. Quite often, the things we choose to manifest for ourselves create ripples in the community around us. We have to believe that everyone will act with integrity and in their own best interests.

For me, one example of an exercise in trust has been trying not to craft escapes for other people. Often times, someone will ask me to confirm a thing: “We said we would do [x], right?” I would very often respond with “yes, if that’s still okay”. I always believed that stemmed from consideration — but I am realizing that it’s more from self-doubt and a lack of self-value. Also, it diminishes someone else’s path toward self-advocacy. If something changes, it should be the responsibility of the changing party to communicate that. We should try to be receptive and be gracious, but allow them the space to move as they will. As without, so within.

I’m getting there — and that’s the focus for this cycle: Actualizing. Since 2017, I have posted these insights, knowing they are a roadmap to my own self-actualization. I’m not there — not by a long-shot. After all, it’s the journey, not the destination. But I am Actualizing. If self-actualization is defined as “the realization or fulfillment of one’s talents and potentialities”, then I feel I am starting to touch on those now. I am making a concerted effort to organize and revitalize my living space; I am taking care of some lingering health issues; I am branching out on new creative endeavors, and I am saying “yes” more than I am shying away from new experiences. I am less afraid than I used to be, which only leads to enjoying all the experiences more fully.

Each of our paths is our own to walk. We can ask for help, we can offer help, but in the final analysis, the responsibility for ourselves is with each of us. This is where the chorus of this cycle’s song comes in:

I understand about indecision
but I don’t care if I get behind
People living in competition –
all I want is to have my Peace of Mind

…and as the outro insists: Take a look ahead…