Nox Amicus

The Moon was New at 9:40pm on September 14th; so just about a week ago. As we’ve moved through the first quarter, my intended focus for this cycle has changed a few times. In fact, last night I was certain what the theme would be – but the mood shifted on a dime and here we are.

Last month I looked at Actualizing. Taking stock of where I am on this path, how far I’ve come and where my path may lead from here. In that posting there was a lot of intention. I hesitate to say it was confidence – certainly edging toward that – but more a kind of self-acknowledgement. It felt good to stand in the power of my own words.

But power can be fleeting. As I began to examine my place on my path, I realized that the ground I was standing on might not be as stable as I had imagined. This has been a year of profound change – beginning in July of 2022 and it is still in motion. Earthquakes and aftershocks, and precious little shelter.

So the focus for this cycle is Fragility. My sense of self seems to be balanced on the head of a pin these days and I often catch myself moving through unanticipated reactions and perceptions. A trusted mentor has told me that it’s okay to feel whatever you feel – it’s what you choose to do about it that you need to be mindful of.

Every emotion seems to be in play – happiness, sadness, fear, anger. Anger is the trickiest one because it’s the one I am least familiar with. I had always been Switzerland – mediating conflict but not becoming embroiled in it myself. Now I find myself ferociously, if not aggressively, guarding my borders. This is very pronounced in my professional world, but I have noticed the same trend elsewhere.

For these reasons, Fragility seems to be the best focus. How can I manage myself on the shifting sands of this life in time while still honoring everyone I share the path with? How can I manage my changing emotions and share appropriately while still trying to work on my desire to provide clear and complete communication? How can I tread carefully, yet still deliberately?

I believe the first step is acknowledging the Fragility for what it is, and not fear it or try to hide it. I am Fragile right now – but just knowing and acknowledging that helps to make me stronger.