Nox Amicus

Yesterday at 1:55pm the Moon was New again. I’m happy to be this early in the cycle and know so clearly what the focus for the month is.

In this past cycle I looked at Fragility – its causes and its impacts. It turned out mostly that the causes were just related to a very full schedule. Until the last decade, the safest place for me has usually been by myself. I have gotten a lot better at interacting safely (for me), but I still have a definite need to retreat to a “fortress of solitude”. I am grateful that everyone in my life understands and accepts this facet of me. It’s interesting that often time just knowing that I can retreat without contest helps me to sustain being social a little bit longer.

I don’t like the fact that I tend to “need” as much as I do. So many people have more real issues than I will ever know – yet still, in order for me to be the best me I can be for myself and others, I still need to Consider myself and ‘put my own oxygen mask on first’.

While I was pondering the focus for this month I was still mired in feelings of anger and frustration that left me feeling as if I was being treated with a lack of respect. As I ruminated on this (or stewed… depending on your perspective), I came to realize that the sense of disrespect I was feeling was not  malicious, it was simply borne out of a lack of Consideration.

Last weekend I was introduced to the concept of the Sunflower Lanyard. I had first seen a sign for this at the Philadelphia airport, but did not realize it was more widespread than that. The Sunflower Lanyard is used by persons with hidden disabilities – those who might need a little extra attention or Consideration moving through spaces, and whose needs might not be readily apparent to a casual observer. I was attending a regional Friends for Life conference hosted by Children with Diabetes. At the registration table I was offered the Sunflower Lanyard – and at first was going to decline. I manage my anxiety and introversion pretty well and there will always be those in greater need of Consideration than me. But I recognized that my focus on Fragility had defined my own need.

So this cycle I will focus on the philosophy and actions of Consideration. I want to try to do my best to be mindful of those around me – those who may have an expressed need as well as those who might be simply “doing their best to get by” – and ask myself how I can best Consider others in what I say and what I do.